


because i had you

by ollietwist



Series: Penderwick Oneshots [7]
Category: The Penderwicks Series - Jeanne Birdsall
Genre: Angst, Gen, Unrequited Love, this is the closest i will touch canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-15 09:48:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28811451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ollietwist/pseuds/ollietwist
Summary: Maybe it was love at first sight, he wasn’t sure. All he knew after that summer when he turned eleven, was that she was the one.
Relationships: Dusek/Skye Penderwick, Jeffery Tifton & Marlene Robinette, Jeffrey Tifton & Skye Penderwick, Jeffrey Tifton/Skye Penderwick
Series: Penderwick Oneshots [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1788112
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	because i had you

Maybe it was love at first sight, he wasn’t sure. All he knew after that summer when he turned eleven, was that she was the one.

Blue eyes full of passion and emotion hidden from the world. A stubbornness no one could rival. And a loyalty that marked her family, but was the hardest to earn.

That summer, that family became his family and those girls became his first true friends. And maybe it was because he loved her blonde hair or how her friendship was the hardest to earn, but he sought her out the most. But by the end of that summer they were best friends, and that was all he could have ever wanted.

But distance makes the heart grow fond, and he found himself in the next year remembering her sarcastic humor and at times wishing his friends would talk about something other than music with him.

She was the first of her family to visit him and all was set right in the world. Their inside jokes and stupid arguments reminded him of why she was his best friend.

The next summer came after a series of issues with his mother but he was eventually in Maine with his second family. He spent time with each sister but found his deepest conversations were with her. She was his best friend. She knew him better than anyone else. She didn’t pull her punches and told him what he needed to hear. And maybe he didn’t want to hear that she didn’t like the idea of marrying him, but they were twelve and something like that was a long way off.

But she was the one to chase after him time and again. She was the one that didn’t understand emotions but would not let him wallow in self-pity. She defended him against the world, asking nothing in return. And maybe she didn’t love him like he loved her but they were young and he of all people should know what happens when love goes wrong.

As time goes, they grew older and stayed the friends that they were. They kept in contact and were the first to know of anything going on. He knew when she made the varsity soccer team as a freshman and she was the first to know when he asked a classmate out and when it ended a few weeks later.

But there were things he didn’t tell her, like how his classmate had blonde but didn’t talk passionately. She didn’t know that when he said something, he wished she fight her on it just to joke around. She had blue eyes that were filled with wonder but he wished instead it was fire.

They were still best friends, and while that was all he could’ve asked for, he also knew he loved her. Almost seven years after they met, he did what he never thought he’d do. He asked her out. And she told him no. But she gave him no reason.

That hurt the most. This was a girl who had a reason for every action she took who for the first time since they met could not give him a reason she would not give him a chance.

So he waited. He was still her friend although she treated him differently now. And then he tried again only to find an uncharacteristic fear consumed her.

And fear begot stubbornness and anger and suddenly they were merely acquaintances.

Then she left. She moved across the country and he only saw her briefly on holidays. She stayed there and lived there while he traveled the world. He dated around while she studied. Then she began to date someone and didn’t tell until six months after the fact.

He traveled more and dated less. It wasn’t until sat across from an old family friend his mother had set him up with that he stopped completely. That date was only for appearances but she tore through him. She didn’t like him and knew he felt the same. She was the one to point out all the girls he had ever dated had blonde hair. That they never moved past a second date, if they even got there. She was the one to tell him casual dating was not for him because he wanted a friend that he already had. No one else was dating to find a friend and he had already fallen in love.

He stopped dating altogether after that. Sure he gave stories to those who really cared but he was throwing himself to his music more than anything.

When he became the owner of his childhood home and his childhood friend asked to get married there, he could not say no. She was his sister and her fiancé was his brother. They were family.

He expected the rest of the family, including her. What he did not expect was her to get married as well.

There was a point in time in which he knew her better than anyone. There was a point in time in which they could talk about anything and nothing all at once. There was point where they’d sit in the dark whispering secrets to each other they’d never dare tell another soul. There was a point in time in which this would have not been a surprise but that was a long time ago.

His best friend was gone, replaced with a woman he did not know. They played a little soccer and talked even less.

She got married and looked as beautiful as the day she came to his eleventh birthday party or when they went to prom together junior year.

Her fear had left her eyes and her passion had seemed to dim. She didn’t fight everyone anymore. She was ready to be married and ready for the life she always said she never wanted. She was ready to be someone he never imagined her to be and he never witnessed the transformation. The girl he used to know was no longer there.

He danced with her sister because he danced with each sister. But this sister was the one who always had a steadiness about her. A determination not borne out of stubbornness but out of righteousness. He danced with her and saw her family reflected in her eyes. But they were brown and she was his little sister. He danced with her to pass the time until he could slip into his old bedroom and forget everything else.

But the ladder outside his window was still there and so was the piano she had once begged him to play.

If he was being honest, he fell in love with his best friends at eleven. And now at twenty-seven he had lost everything he had with.

And what was worse: he could never forget her how hard he tried because at one point they had each other and that was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from the song Because I Had You by Shawn Mendes which inspired the fic.
> 
> This fic has been rolling around in my head for years and I finally wrote it. An ode to my childhood otp that got brutally murdered in the last book, not only their possible romantic relationship but also their friendship which I wished to explore here. Honestly really tragic to think about how amazing of a friendship they had only for Skye to transform off page into someone no one recognized and the two of them to not share a single word for the entirety of the last book. No thank you. So here's some of the in between stuff I would have wanted to see and I am never following canon again because canon sucks. If you read this far, I'm really impressed.


End file.
